Life Magic by Ruth Ostrow

Author:Ruth Ostrow [Ostrow, Ruth]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: SEL000000
ISBN: 9781742731773
Publisher: Hardie Grant Books
Published: 2007-11-30T11:00:00+00:00

LATER, I WILL demonstrate that SSs will inevitably lead back to the Disempowering Belief in the Victim Triangle. For no matter how important the person appears to feel, or looks to be, there will be an inevitable behaviour which confirms the worst, as seems to be the case with so many singers/celebrities/actors who end up in drug rehab or in constant crisis despite the public adoration.

PERSONALITY ARCHETYPES

THE ENNEAGRAM IS a universally renowned system for describing different personality types or Survival Strategies, which we can turn ‘on’ and ‘off’ when we need to. Other personal development systems call SSs by other names: the racket; the win–lose formula; the game; the script; Ego. There are many archetypes in different personality systems. I like the enneagram because it is clear.

The enneagram lists nine main personality types and their attributes. We are predominantly one type, but are influenced in some measure by others.

The Perfectionist

Orientation: I/It must be perfect DB (or fear at the root of the type): I am not perfect SS: Needing to be right, being anal, didactic, helpful, judgmental Typically: A teacher or religious leader

The Giver/Martyr

Orientation: I need you to need me DB (or fear at the root of the type): If I am not of use I will be rejected SS: Doing anything to win love. Burden Enduring. Controls through guilt and obligation: ‘I did it all for you!’ Typically: A Jewish mother or a nurse

The Performer

Orientation: I am what I do DB: If I am not famous or successful no one will love me SS: Workaholic, performaholic, exhibitionist (Hey Daddy, look at me!) Typically: A celebrity, politician, high-powered executive or barrister

The Tragic Romantic

Orientation: I am special DB: Behind the magic cloak I am nothing, I don’t fit in, life is filled with loss and pain SS: Creating high drama and deep connections with people in order to feel filled-up, soothed, validated Typically: An artist, poet or musician

The Observer

Orientation: I’m the voyeur, sitting in the bleachers watching the game

DB: If I don’t keep my distance I will be consumed, exhausted

SS: Uses knowledge, not heart, in order to stay safe

Typically: An academic or computer geek

The Cynic

Orientation: You’re trying to screw me

DB: Being loving and trusting will undo me

SS: Being sarcastic, laconic, well-researched, intelligent, counterculture: ‘I’ll get you before you get me’ Typically: A journalist or lawyer

Peter Pan

Orientation: Get me outtahere

DB: If I don’t keep moving I will drown in a wave of regret

SS: Having fun, indulging in hedonistic pursuits, avoiding intimacy, commit-a-phobic bon vivant Typically: A marketing guru or music promoter

The Boss

Orientation: I need control

DB: If I don’t hold power everything will unravel and I won’t cope

SS: Taking control at all costs, bossy, angry, combative, but can be a big, cuddly bear, and a rescuer

Typically: A CEO or political leader

The Mediator

Orientation: Keep it nice

DB: I am not important, my own needs don’t matter as much as keeping the peace

SS: Suppresses feelings with drugs, TV, food or sleep. Passive aggressive, resentful, supportive, withholding Typically: A social worker, legal mediator or secretary

Helen Palmer, the pre-eminent authority on the enneagram, has written much on these personality types in her books.

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